Hey Monica, I don’t mean for this to get creepy…but…you’ve been on my mind pretty heavy lately.
Here are six ways you kind of remind me of my middle school crush…
1. I send Monica notes
The rules are no emails or calls, so I send little (actual) “notes” in the mail just to say hello. I may or may not have sent a giant unicorn as well.
2. I ask Monica’s friends if they think “she likes me?”
I think Dan Saltzstein is kind of over me.
3. I get jealous when I see other people “talking” to Monica.
Not gonna lie, I wanna run up on a fool.
4. I get excited when she notices me.
I do. I really do. Go ahead and like that Tweet, Monica!
5. I may or may not be stalking you.
*slowly backs away*
6. (BONUS) I imagine what life would be like for us “together.”
“Working” together, of course! It would just be so right, you’ll see!
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