Hey Monica, I don’t mean for this to get creepy…but…you’ve been on my mind pretty heavy lately.
Here are six ways you kind of remind me of my middle school crush…
1. I send Monica notes
The rules are no emails or calls, so I send little (actual) “notes” in the mail just to say hello. I may or may not have sent a giant unicorn as well.
2. I ask Monica’s friends if they think “she likes me?”
I think Dan Saltzstein is kind of over me.
3. I get jealous when I see other people “talking” to Monica.
Not gonna lie, I wanna run up on a fool.
4. I get excited when she notices me.
I do. I really do. Go ahead and like that Tweet, Monica!
5. I may or may not be stalking you.
*slowly backs away*
6. (BONUS) I imagine what life would be like for us “together.”
“Working” together, of course! It would just be so right, you’ll see!
HireMeMonica.com MAIN PAGE
I’m Too Sexy for My Map (video)
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101 Reasons (and Fun Facts) Monica Drake Should Hire Me
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My materials: CV, memo and samples
6 thoughts on “6 Ways Monica Drake Eerily Reminds Me of My 7th Grade Crush”
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